Thursday, October 10, 2019
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal Chapter 8
Chapter 8 I've managed to sneak into the bathroom long enough to read a few chapters of this New Testament that they've added to the Bible. This Matthew fellow, who is obviously not the Matthew that we knew, seems to have left out quite a little bit. Like everything from the time Joshua was born to the time he was thirty!!! No wonder the angel brought me back to write this book. This Matthew fellow hasn't mentioned me yet, but I'm still in the early chapters. I have to ration myself to keep the angel from getting suspicious. Today he confronted me when I came out of the bathroom. ââ¬Å"You are spending a lot of time in there. You don't need to spend so much time in there.â⬠ââ¬Å"I told you, cleanliness is very important to my people.â⬠ââ¬Å"You weren't bathing. I would have heard the water running.â⬠I decided that I needed to go on the offensive if I was going to keep the angel from finding the Bible. I ran across the room, leapt onto his bed, and fastened my hands around his throat ââ¬â choking him as I chanted: ââ¬Å"I haven't been laid in two thousand years. I haven't been laid in two thousand years. I haven't been laid in two thousand years.â⬠It felt good, there was a rhythm to it, I sort of squoze his throat a bit with every syllable. I paused for a moment in choking the heavenly host to backhand him across his alabaster cheek. It was a mistake. He caught my hand. Then grabbed me by the hair with his other hand and calmly climbed to his feet, lifting me into the air by my hair. ââ¬Å"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"So, you have not been laid in two thousand years? What does that mean?â⬠ââ¬Å"Ow, ow, ow, ow,â⬠I replied. The angel set me on my feet, but kept his grasp on my hair. ââ¬Å"So?â⬠ââ¬Å"It means that I haven't had a woman in two millennia, aren't you picking up any of the vocabulary from the television?â⬠He glanced at the TV, which, of course, was on. ââ¬Å"I don't have your gift of tongues. What does that have to do with choking me?â⬠ââ¬Å"I was choking you because you, once again, are as dense as dirt. I haven't had sex in two thousand years. Men have needs. What the hell do you think I'm doing in the bathroom all of that time?â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh,â⬠the angel said, releasing my hair. ââ¬Å"So you areâ⬠¦You have beenâ⬠¦There is aâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"Get me a woman and maybe I won't spend so much time in the bathroom, if you get my meaning.â⬠Brilliant misdirection, I thought. ââ¬Å"A woman? No, I cannot do that. Not yet.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yet? Does that meanâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"Oh look,â⬠the angel said, turning from me as if I was no more than vapor, ââ¬Å"General Hospital is starting.â⬠And with that, my secret Bible was safe. What did he mean by ââ¬Å"yetâ⬠? At least this Matthew mentions the Magi. One sentence, but that's one more than I've gotten in his Gospel so far. Our second day in Jerusalem we went to see the great Rabbi Hillel. (Rabbi means teacher in Hebrew ââ¬â you knew that, right?) Hillel looked to be a hundred years old, his beard and hair were long and white, and his eyes were clouded over, his irises milk white. His skin was leathery-brown from sitting in the sun and his nose was long and hooked, giving him the aspect of a great, blind eagle. He held class all morning in the outer courtyard of the Temple. We sat quietly, listening to him recite from the Torah and interpret the verses, taking questions and engaging in arguments with the Pharisees, who tried to infuse the Law into every minute detail of life. Toward the end of Hillel's morning lectures, Jakan, the camel-sucking husband-to-be of my beloved Maggie, asked Hillel if it would be a sin to eat an egg that had been laid on the Sabbath. ââ¬Å"What are you, stupid? The Lord doesn't give a damn what a chicken does on the Sabbath, you nimrod! It's a chicken. If a Jew lays an egg on the Sabbath, that's probably a sin, come see me then. Otherwise don't waste my friggin' time with that nonsense. Now go away, I'm hungry and I need a nap. All of you, scram.â⬠Joshua looked at me and grinned. ââ¬Å"He's not what I expected,â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"Knows a nimrod when he sees ââ¬â uh ââ¬â hears one, though,â⬠I said. (Nimrod was an ancient king who died of suffocation after he wondered aloud in front of his guards what it would be like to have your own head stuck up your ass.) A boy younger than us helped the old man to his feet and began to lead him away toward the Temple gate. I ran up and took the priest's other arm. ââ¬Å"Rabbi, my friend has come from far away to talk to you. Can you help him?â⬠The old man stopped. ââ¬Å"Where is your friend?â⬠ââ¬Å"Right here.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then why isn't he talking for himself? Where do you come from, kid?â⬠ââ¬Å"Nazareth,â⬠Joshua said, ââ¬Å"but I was born in Bethlehem. I am Joshua bar Joseph.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh yeah, I've talked to your mother.â⬠ââ¬Å"You have?â⬠ââ¬Å"Sure, almost every time she and your father come to Jerusalem for a feast she tries to see me. She thinks you're the Messiah.â⬠Joshua swallowed hard. ââ¬Å"Am I?â⬠Hillel snorted. ââ¬Å"Do you want to be the Messiah?â⬠Joshua looked at me as if I might have the answer. I shrugged. ââ¬Å"I don't know,â⬠Josh finally said. ââ¬Å"I thought I was just supposed to do it.â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you think you're the Messiah?â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm not sure I should say.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's smart,â⬠Hillel said. ââ¬Å"You shouldn't say. You can think you're the Messiah all that you want, just don't tell anyone.â⬠ââ¬Å"But if I don't tell them, they won't know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Exactly. You can think you're a palm tree if you want, just don't tell anyone. You can think you're a flock of seagulls, just don't tell anyone. You get my meaning? Now I have to go eat. I'm old and I'm hungry and I want to go eat now, so just in case I die before supper I won't go hungry.â⬠ââ¬Å"But he really is the Messiah,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Oh yeah,â⬠Hillel said, grabbing my shoulder, then feeling for my head so he could scream into my ear. ââ¬Å"What do you know? You're an ignorant kid. How old are you? Twelve? Thirteen?â⬠ââ¬Å"Thirteen.â⬠ââ¬Å"How could you, at thirteen, know anything? I'm eighty-four and I don't know shit.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you're wise,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I'm wise enough to know that I don't know shit. Now go away.â⬠ââ¬Å"Should I ask the Holy of Holies?â⬠Joshua said. Hillel swung at the air, as if to slap Joshua, but missed by a foot. ââ¬Å"It's a box. I saw it when I could still see, and I can tell you that it's a box. And you know what else, if there were tablets in it, they aren't there now. So if you want to talk to a box, and probably be executed for trying to get into the chamber where it's kept, you go right ahead.â⬠The breath seemed to be knocked out of Joshua's body and I thought he would faint on the spot. How could the greatest teacher in all of Israel speak of the Ark of the Covenant in such a way? How could a man who obviously knew every word of the Torah, and all the teachings written since, how could he claim not to know anything? Hillel seemed to sense Joshua's distress. ââ¬Å"Look, kid, your mother says that some very wise men came to Bethlehem to see you when you were born. They obviously knew something that no one else knew. Why don't you go see them? Ask them about being the Messiah.â⬠ââ¬Å"So you aren't going to tell him how to be the Messiah?â⬠I asked. Again Hillel reached out for Joshua, but this time without any anger. He found Joshua's cheek, and stroked it with his palsied hand. ââ¬Å"I don't believe there will be a Messiah, and at this point, I'm not sure it would make a difference to me. Our people have spent more time in slavery or under the heels of foreign kings than we have spent free, so who is to say that it is God's will that we be free at all? Who is to say that God concerns himself with us in any way, beyond allowing us to be? I don't think that he does. So know this, little one. Whether you are the Messiah, or you become a rabbi, or even if you are nothing more than a farmer, here is the sum of all I can teach you, and all that I know: treat others as you would like to be treated. Can you remember that?â⬠Joshua nodded and the old man smiled. ââ¬Å"Go find your wise men, Joshua bar Joseph.â⬠What we did was stay in the Temple while Joshua grilled every priest, guard, even Pharisee about the Magi who had come to Jerusalem thirteen years before. Evidently it wasn't as big an event for others as it was for Josh's family, because no one had any idea what he was talking about. By the time he'd been at it for a couple of hours he was literally screaming into the faces of a group of Pharisees. ââ¬Å"Three of them. Magicians. They came because they saw a star over Bethlehem. They were carrying gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Come on, you're all old. You're supposed to be wise. Think!â⬠Needless to say, they weren't pleased. ââ¬Å"Who is this boy who would question our knowledge? He knows nothing of the Torah and the prophets and yet berates us for not remembering three insignificant travelers.â⬠It was the wrong thing to say to Joshua. No one had studied the Torah harder. No one knew scripture better. ââ¬Å"Ask me any question, Pharisee,â⬠Joshua said. ââ¬Å"Ask anything.â⬠In retrospect, after having grown up, somewhat, and having lived, died, and been resurrected from the dust, I realize that there may be nothing more obnoxious than a teenager who knows everything. Certainly, it is a symptom of the age that they think they know everything, but now I have some sympathy for those poor men who challenged Joshua that day at the Temple. Of course, at the time, I shouted, ââ¬Å"Smite the sons-a-bitches, Josh.â⬠He was there for days. Joshua wouldn't even leave to eat, and I went out into the city to bring him back food. First the Pharisees, but later even some of the priests came to quiz Joshua, to try to throw him some question about some obscure Hebrew king or general. They made him recite the lineages from all the books of the Bible, yet he did not waver. Myself, I left him there to argue while I wandered through the holy city looking for Maggie, then, when I couldn't find her, for girls in general. I slept at the camp of my parents, assuming all the time that Joshua was returning each night to his own family, but I was wrong. When the Passover feast was over and we were packing up to leave, Mary, Joshua's mother, came to me in a panic. ââ¬Å"Biff. Have you seen Joshua?â⬠The poor woman was distraught. I wanted to comfort her so I held my arms out to give her a comforting embrace. ââ¬Å"Poor Mary, calm down. Joshua is fine. Come, let me give you a comforting embrace.â⬠ââ¬Å"Biff!â⬠I thought she might slap me. ââ¬Å"He's at the Temple. Jeez, a guy tries to be compassionate and what does he get?â⬠She had already taken off. I caught up to her as she was dragging Joshua out of the Temple by the arm. ââ¬Å"You worried us half to death.â⬠ââ¬Å"You should have known you would find me in my father's house,â⬠Joshua said. ââ¬Å"Don't you pull that ââ¬Ëmy father' stuff on me, Joshua bar Joseph. The commandment says honor thy father and thy mother. I'm not feeling honored right now, young man. You could have sent a message, you could have stopped by the camp.â⬠Joshua looked at me, his eyes pleading for me to help him out. ââ¬Å"I tried to comfort her, Josh, but she wouldn't have it.â⬠Later I found the two of them on the road to Nazareth and Joshua motioned for me to walk with them. ââ¬Å"Mother thinks we may be able to find at least one of the Magi, and if we find that one, he may know where the others are.â⬠Mary nodded, ââ¬Å"The one named Balthasar, the black one, he said he came from a village north of Antioch. He was the only one of the three that spoke any Hebrew.â⬠I didn't feel confident. Although I'd never seen a map, ââ¬Å"north of Antiochâ⬠sounded like a large, unspecific, and scary place. ââ¬Å"Is there more?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, the other two had come from the East by the Silk Road. Their names were Melchior and Gaspar.â⬠ââ¬Å"So it's off to Antioch,â⬠Joshua said. He seemed completely satisfied with the information his mother had given him, as if all he needed were the three Magi's names and he'd as much as found them. I said, ââ¬Å"You're going to go to Antioch assuming that someone there will remember a man who may have lived north of there thirteen years ago?â⬠ââ¬Å"A magician,â⬠Mary said. ââ¬Å"A rich, Ethiopian magician. How many can there be?â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, there might not be any, did you think of that? He might have died. He might have moved to another city.â⬠ââ¬Å"In that case, I will be in Antioch,â⬠Joshua said. ââ¬Å"From there I can travel the Silk Road until I find the other two.â⬠I couldn't believe my ears. ââ¬Å"You're not going alone.â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course.â⬠ââ¬Å"But Josh, you're helpless out in the world. You only know Nazareth, where people are stupid and poor. No offense, Mary. You'll be like ââ¬â uh ââ¬â like a lamb among wolves. You need me along to watch out for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"And what do you know that I don't? Your Latin is horrible, your Greek is barely passable, and your Hebrew is atrocious.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah. If a stranger comes up to you on the road to Antioch and asks you how much money you are carrying, what do you tell him?â⬠ââ¬Å"That will depend on how much I am carrying.â⬠ââ¬Å"No it won't. You haven't enough for a crust of bread. You are a poor beggar.â⬠ââ¬Å"But that's not true.â⬠ââ¬Å"Exactly.â⬠Mary put her arm around her son's shoulders. ââ¬Å"He has a point, Joshua.â⬠Joshua wrinkled his brow as if he had to think about it, but I could tell that he was relieved that I wanted to go along. ââ¬Å"When do you want to leave?â⬠ââ¬Å"When did Maggie say she was getting married?â⬠ââ¬Å"In a month.â⬠ââ¬Å"Before then. I don't want to be here when it happens.â⬠ââ¬Å"Me either,â⬠Joshua said. And so we spent the next few weeks preparing for our journey. My father thought I was crazy, but my mother seemed happy to have the extra space in the house and pleased that the family wouldn't have to put up a bride price to marry me off right away. ââ¬Å"So you'll be gone how long?â⬠Mother asked. ââ¬Å"I don't know. It's not a terribly long journey to Antioch, but I don't know how long we'll be there. Then we'll be traveling the Silk Road. I'm guessing that that's a long journey. I've never seen any silk growing around here.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, take a wool tunic in case it gets cold.â⬠And that was all I heard from my mother. Not ââ¬Å"Why are you going?â⬠Not ââ¬Å"Who are you looking for?â⬠Just ââ¬Å"Take a wool tunic.â⬠Jeez. My father was more supportive. ââ¬Å"I can give you a little money to travel with, or we could buy you a donkey.â⬠ââ¬Å"I think the money would be better. A donkey couldn't carry both of us.â⬠ââ¬Å"And who are these fellows you're looking for?â⬠ââ¬Å"Magicians, I think.â⬠ââ¬Å"And you want to talk to magicians becauseâ⬠¦?â⬠ââ¬Å"Because Josh wants to know how to be the Messiah.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, right. And you believe that Joshua is the Messiah?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, but more important than that, he's my friend. I can't let him go alone.â⬠ââ¬Å"And what if he's not the Messiah? What if you find these magicians and they tell you that Joshua is not what you think he is, that he's just a normal boy?â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, he'll really need me to be there, then, won't he?â⬠My father laughed. ââ¬Å"Yes, I guess he will. You come back, Levi, and bring your friend the Messiah with you. Now we'll have to set three empty places at the table on Passover. One for Elijah, one for my lost son, and one for his pal the Messiah.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, don't seat Joshua next to Elijah. If those guys start talking religion we'll never have any peace.â⬠It came down to only four days before Maggie's wedding before Joshua and I accepted that one of us would have to tell her we were leaving. After nearly a whole day of arguing, it fell upon me to go to her. I saw Joshua face down fears in himself that would have broken other men, but taking bad news to Maggie was one he couldn't overcome. I took the task on myself and tried to leave Joshua with his dignity. ââ¬Å"You wuss!â⬠ââ¬Å"How can I tell her that it's too painful to watch her marry that toad?â⬠ââ¬Å"First, you're insulting toads everywhere, and second, what makes you think it's any easier for me?â⬠ââ¬Å"You're tougher than I am.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, don't try that. You can't just roll over and expect me to not notice that I'm being manipulated. She's going to cry. I hate it when she cries.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠Josh said. ââ¬Å"It hurts me too. Too much.â⬠Then he put his hand on my head and I suddenly felt better, stronger. ââ¬Å"Don't try your Son of God mumbo jumbo on me, you're still a wuss.â⬠ââ¬Å"If it be so, so be it. So it shall be written.â⬠Well, it is now, Josh. It's written now. (It's strange, the word ââ¬Å"wussâ⬠is the same in my ancient Aramaic tongue as it is in this language. Like the word waited for me these two thousand years so I could write it down here. Strange.) Maggie was washing clothes in the square with a bunch of other women. I caught her attention by jumping on the shoulders of my friend Bartholomew, who was gleefully exposing himself for the viewing pleasure of the Nazarene wives. With a subtle toss of my head I signaled to Maggie to meet me behind a nearby stand of date palms. ââ¬Å"Behind those trees?â⬠Maggie shouted. ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠I replied. ââ¬Å"You bringing the idiot?â⬠ââ¬Å"Nope.â⬠ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠she said, and she handed her washing to one of her younger sisters and scampered to the trees. I was surprised to see her smiling so close to the time of her wedding. She hugged me and I could feel the heat rise in my face, either from shame or love, like there was a difference. ââ¬Å"Well, you're in a good mood,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Why not? I'm using them all up before the wedding. Speaking of which, what are you two bringing me for a present? It had better be good if it's going to make up for who I have to marry.â⬠She was joyful and there was music and laughter in her voice, pure Maggie, but I had to turn away. ââ¬Å"Hey, I was only joking,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"You guys don't need to bring me anything.â⬠ââ¬Å"We're leaving, Maggie. We won't be there.â⬠She grabbed my shoulder and forced me to face her. ââ¬Å"You're leaving? You and Joshua? You're going away?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, before your wedding. We're going to Antioch, and from there far into the East along the Silk Road.â⬠She said nothing. Tears welled up in her eyes and I could feel them rising in mine as well. This time she turned away. ââ¬Å"We should have told you before, I know, but really we only decided at Passover. Joshua is going to find the Magi who came to his birth, and I'm going with him because I have to.â⬠She wheeled on me. ââ¬Å"You have to? You have to? You don't have to. You can stay and be my friend and come to my wedding and sneak down to talk to me here or in the vineyard and we can laugh and tease and no matter how horrible it is being married to Jakan, I'll have that. I'll at least have that!â⬠I felt as if I'd be sick to my stomach any second. I wanted to tell her that I'd stay, that I'd wait, that if there was the slightest chance that her life wasn't going to be a desert in the arms of her creep husband that I could hold hope. I wanted to do whatever I could to take away even a little bit of her pain, even up to letting Joshua go by himself, but in thinking that, I realized that Joshua must have been feeling the same thing, so all I said was ââ¬Å"I'm sorry.â⬠ââ¬Å"And what about Joshua, wasn't he even going to say good-bye?â⬠ââ¬Å"He wanted to, but he couldn't. Neither of us can, I mean, we didn't want to have to watch you marry Jakan.â⬠ââ¬Å"Cowards. You two deserve each other. You can hide behind each other like Greek boys. Just go. Get away from me.â⬠I tried to think of something to say, but my mind was a soup of confusion so I hung my head and walked away. I was almost out of the square when Maggie caught up to me. I heard her footsteps and turned. ââ¬Å"Tell him to meet me behind the synagogue, Biff. The night before my wedding, an hour after sunset.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm not sure, Maggie, he ââ¬â ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"Tell him,â⬠she said. She ran back to the well without looking back. So I told Joshua, and on the night before Maggie's wedding, the night before we were to leave on our journey, Joshua packed some bread and cheese and a skin of wine and told me to meet him by the date palms in the square where we would share supper together. ââ¬Å"You have to go,â⬠Joshua said. ââ¬Å"I'm going. In the morning, when you do. What, you think I'd back out now?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, tonight. You have to go to Maggie. I can't go.â⬠ââ¬Å"What? I mean, why?â⬠Sure I'd been heartbroken when Maggie had asked to see Joshua and not me, but I'd come to terms with it. Well, as well as one ever comes to terms with an ongoing heartbreak. ââ¬Å"You have to take my place, Biff. There's almost no moon tonight, and we are about the same size. Just don't say much and she'll think it's me. Maybe not as smart as normal, but she can put that down to worry over the upcoming journey.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'd love to see Maggie, but she wants to see you, why can't you go?â⬠ââ¬Å"You really don't know?â⬠ââ¬Å"Not really.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then just take my word for it. You'll see. Will you do this for me, Biff? Will you take my place, pretend to be me?â⬠ââ¬Å"That would be lying. You never lie.â⬠ââ¬Å"Now you're getting righteous on me? I won't be lying. You will be.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh. In that case, I'll go.â⬠But there wasn't even time to deceive. It was so dark that night that I had to make my way slowly through the village by starlight alone, and as I rounded the corner to the back of our small synagogue I was hit with a wave of sandalwood and lemon and girl sweat, of warm skin, a wet mouth over mine, arms around my back and legs around my waist. I fell backward on the ground and there was in my head a bright light, and the rest of the world existed in the senses of touch and smell and God. There, on the ground behind the synagogue, Maggie and I indulged desires we had carried for years, mine for her, and hers for Joshua. That neither of us knew what we were doing made no difference. It was pure and it happened and it was marvelous. And when we finished we lay there holding each other, half dressed, breathless, and sweating, and Maggie said, ââ¬Å"I love you, Joshua.â⬠ââ¬Å"I love you, Maggie,â⬠I said. And ever so slightly she loosened her embrace. ââ¬Å"I couldn't marry Jakan without ââ¬â I couldn't let you go without ââ¬â without letting you know.â⬠ââ¬Å"He knows, Maggie.â⬠Then she really pulled away. ââ¬Å"Biff?â⬠ââ¬Å"Uh-oh.â⬠I thought she might scream, that she might leap up and run away, that she might do any one of a hundred things to take me from heaven to hell, but after only a second she nuzzled close to me again. ââ¬Å"Thank you for being here,â⬠she said. We left at dawn, and our fathers walked with us as far as the gates of Sepphoris. When we parted at the gates my father gave me a hammer and chisel to carry with me in my satchel. ââ¬Å"With that you can make enough for a meal anywhere you go,â⬠my father said. Joseph gave Joshua a wooden bowl. ââ¬Å"Out of that you can eat the meal that Biff earns.â⬠He grinned at me. By the gates of Sepphoris I kissed my father for the last time. By the gates of Sepphoris we left our fathers behind and went out into the world to find three wise men. ââ¬Å"Come back, Joshua, and make us free,â⬠Joseph shouted to our backs. ââ¬Å"Go with God,â⬠my own father said. ââ¬Å"I am, I am,â⬠I shouted. ââ¬Å"He's right here.â⬠Joshua said nothing until the sun was high in the sky and we stopped to share a drink of water. ââ¬Å"Well?â⬠Joshua said. ââ¬Å"Did she know it was you?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes. Not at first, but before we parted. She knew.â⬠ââ¬Å"Was she angry at me?â⬠ââ¬Å"No.â⬠ââ¬Å"Was she angry at you?â⬠I smiled. ââ¬Å"No.â⬠ââ¬Å"You dog!â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"You really should ask that angel what he meant about you not knowing a woman, Joshua. It's really important.â⬠ââ¬Å"You know now why I couldn't go.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes. Thanks.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'll miss her,â⬠Joshua said. ââ¬Å"You have no idea,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Every detail. I want to know every detail.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you aren't supposed to know.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's not what the angel meant. Tell me.â⬠ââ¬Å"Not now. Not while I can still smell her on my arms.â⬠Joshua kicked at the dirt. ââ¬Å"Am I angry with you, or happy for you, or jealous of you? I don't know? Tell me!â⬠ââ¬Å"Josh, right now, for the first time I can remember, I'm happier being your friend than I would be being you. Can I have that?â⬠Now, thinking about that night with Maggie behind the synagogue, where we stayed together until it was nearly dawn, where we made love again and again and fell asleep naked on top of our clothes ââ¬â now, when I think of that, I want to run away from here, this room, this angel and his task, find a lake, dive down, and hide from the eye of God in the dark muck on the bottom. Strange.
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
300 word essay on internet source Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words
300 word on internet source - Essay Example But apart from this obvious side-taking, Anna Comnenaââ¬â¢s style is detailed and highly informative. She gives numbers of soldiers and knights, exact names of straits and races, and other details of the battle that help to make the event come to life. The extract is also very clearly Christian in its outlook as is obvious from the mention of the pilgrimage of Peter and his adoration of the Holy Sepulcher and the distaste with which the Turks and Saracens are mentioned. The extract is also made colorful by the writerââ¬â¢s liberal use of adjectives. She calls the Gauls ââ¬Ëpassionate and impetuousââ¬â¢, the Franks ââ¬Ëimmoderately covetousââ¬â¢ and so on. While this does not pass for historical impartiality, it gives an insight into the perceptions of Greek scholar and perhaps most of the Christian world. This point of view is helpful in analyzing the general social relations between warring groups of people and how they saw each other. Later historians can bring th eir own detached and rational approach to this kind of hagiography and sift through the bias to get at the larger truths of interpersonal histories that would otherwise stay hidden in a more unbiased or scientific mode of writing. The author is clearly attempting to write a history in Christian terms and is quite successful in doing
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Manets painting The Ragpicker Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words
Manets painting The Ragpicker - Essay Example Instead, they find no problem and spend that money on beautiful and attractive architecture buildings that is everyoneââ¬â¢s envy. And in this poem, the elder boy comes to the realization that it is only those people who are not like him who enters this beautiful house. Precisely, it is not for the poor to enter the facility. Further, the poem points out at the wide division between the poor and the rich. The poor is viewed as dirty and vile. Baudelaireââ¬â¢s Poem enlightens the readers of the problem existing in the society, the impoverished v.s. The wealthy but leaves it upon to people to do what they feel about it. Similarly, the communist manifesto discusses the division of the society into two social classes: the bourgeoisie and the proletariat. It goes even deeper to define the division by espousing the other perspectives like free man and slave; plebian and patrician; serf and lord among others (Engels, Friedrich, & Karl Marx, 2). The communist manifesto vents out about the antagonism between the bourgeoisie and proletariats. It discusses how the differences bring about conditions of oppression meted out at the poor in the society. It highlights how to struggle to become rich is killing values social ties among families and religious morals that the society had.à The struggle between the two social classes has made the relationship between people be defined by money. Both readings tackle the realism of life and how social classes brings about suffering and struggles in the society.
Monday, October 7, 2019
Loving the Living Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words
Loving the Living - Essay Example However, one has to understand that the way people view work is different from one generation to another. In Marjorie Fordââ¬â¢s book ââ¬Å"The Changing World of Workâ⬠, the author explores several aspects of work such as the reasons for working, sense of fulfillment, workplace discrimination, work ethics, values, and environment. It is an insightful look at factors behind the consistently changing importance and meaning of work. These factors --- changing social values and culture --- will continuously shape how people and society view what they want and need in work (Ford 14-15). As stated above, viewpoints regarding work differ from one individual to another. However, work-related terms such as job, career, and calling are used interchangeably. This should not be the case as these three terms are vastly different from each other. Of the three terms, calling is the most profound. It has something to do with the sense of fulfillment one feels with what he or she does for a living. It gives meaning and difference to the work that one does. Career, on the other hand, is a line of work. One can have a career in medicine or banking, but could still have a different calling. Additionally, one can have different careers at different times in their lives. Compared to job, career is more long-term as it is a pursuit of achievements and developments in oneââ¬â¢s profession, business, or public life. ... According to the Dalai Lama, having a higher purpose in work is similar as a calling. For example, being a cleaning lady may not really be a vocation or a calling, but finding a higher purpose in such job, such as supporting the family, may result in having the person love his or her job. The concept here is that in any work, there is always a purpose and impact to the society in general, thus one should always be happy and proud with his or her work. What is ultimately necessary is finding that purpose and knowing its worth. Hooksââ¬â¢ opinion on happiness in oneââ¬â¢s work is albeit similar. Hooks states that people can be happy with their job if one has a positive outlook towards it (Ford 22). In her personal anecdote, Hooks states that she felt more fulfilled when she left her previous career and began following her heartââ¬â¢s desire. She said that life seems more enjoyable when she started doing her first love, which is writing. Therefore, this could mean that finding a purpose in oneââ¬â¢s work can ultimately lead one to love it, thus enjoy doing it as if it is a calling. Hooks also mentioned the right livelihood several times. It has somewhat a deeper context that is rooted in the societal attitude towards work expectations. Discrimination in class, gender, and race still exist in some workplaces, and several individuals end up in jobs they do not want, yet have to do in order to earn money and survive. Hooks implied that through the concept of right livelihood, the blacksââ¬â¢ standpoint on work changed in time. How do these concepts from these readings explain the changing work value and meaning? One has to understand that all these have consolidated impact on work. Let us begin with the concept of right livelihood. For example, decades ago, blacks are forced to
Sunday, October 6, 2019
Impacts of Immigration on Origin and Host Countries Research Paper
Impacts of Immigration on Origin and Host Countries - Research Paper Example This is because they are likely to move out of their native homes at one point in search of employment or for other reasons thus it is important that they understand the consequences of immigration. Immigration refers to the movement of individuals from their country or region to other countries that they are not native. In most cases, people move to other areas for the purpose of settling permanently. It is usually a result of a number of factors some of which include economic and political reasons, natural disasters or oneââ¬â¢s willingness to change the environment. Immigration is also associated with both negative and positive impacts. On one hand, they may fill the workforce gap in the country they might have moved into that may have been created as a result of the aging population especially in the western countries. This is usually the case where Africans move to the western countries. On the other hand, the immigrants may influence the natives negatively by introducing culture in the new environment that could be detrimental to the culture of the country that they will have moved to. Studies indicate that immigration has been found to have negative impacts on the native population. Data 1: Research has shown that the majority of the immigrants consist of the young population that possesses high degrees in different domains. They usually move from their native homes especially those in the developing nations in search of job opportunities in the developed nations. Backing: In the developing nations, there is a little industrialization and thus high unemployment cases due as there is competition for the few jobs available. Individuals then move out of their countries and in turn this causes brain drain. This is because as they move out, the number of elite individuals decreases.
Saturday, October 5, 2019
Impact of Slavery System on African Continent and Its People Essay
Impact of Slavery System on African Continent and Its People - Essay Example Efforts of Africans in these plantations are what made America and Western countries to be the way they are today (Mentan, 2010). Nevertheless, slave trade, according to Anne Caroline Bailey, had profound effect to the social, political, and economic situations and structure of African continent and its people (Bailey, 2005). Therefore, efforts have to be made in identifying and analyzing the effects of slave trade to African continent and its people. Impact of Slave System to African Continent Slavery gave rise to the Trans-Atlantic trade, which has been identified as the main cause of numerous political, social, and economic malaises that befell the continent of Africa. Slave system largely transformed the African society, and this transformation persisted into the future of Africa. Walter Rodney argues that Atlantic slave trade did African continent more harms than benefits, a situation that has remained detrimental to the African societies (Leslie and Rucker, 2010). More so, Afri can in post-colonial era continued to writhe from the detrimental effects of slave trade (Leslie and Rucker, 2010). Slave trade system has been associated with under-development in Africa, especially from the detrimental effects it had on population, economy, agriculture, and stability (Leslie and Rucker, 2010). Inikori and Engerman (1992) argue that slave trade was responsible for the creation of more arbitrary and centralized warrior state, which in turn encouraged social conflict and increased violence. Moreover, the trade led to loss of population, decline in productivity, and increase in exposure to famine (Inikori and Engerman, 1992). At the same time, Becker (1977) asserts that slave trade was responsible to the detrimental effects to the African continent such as the increased wars, state instability and militarization of the society, and lastly, declined food production, which led to more deaths (Inikori and Engerman, 1992). Sharp and Schomp (2006) on the other hand, are co nvinced that the primary political impact of transatlantic slave trade was the entry of Western powers into Africa which led to subsequent colonization. The authors observe that the Western nations reaped huge profits from selling African slaves and gained profits from plantations in which slaves worked. As a result, they became powerful over weak African continent, and this situation led to colonization of the continent after the Berlin Conference of 1884 (Sharp and Schomp, 2006). Of course, the effects of colonialism are well articulated among majority of authors. Colonialism is associated with rampant underdevelopment of the continent, persistence of the culture of corruption and resource stealing, and many more evils the colonialist planted on the continent. On overall, slave system as manifested through transatlantic trade transformed the African continent in such way that its key institutions and stimulus for development and progress were suffocated and stagnated, a situation that has led African continent to lag behind in terms of developments. Impact of Slave System to the People of Africa Apart from the economic and institutional impact slave
Friday, October 4, 2019
Leadership Styles in Professional Nursing Essay Example for Free
Leadership Styles in Professional Nursing Essay According to Hood (as cited in Agnes, 2005) ââ¬Å"Leadership is defined as a process of influencing others or guiding or directing others to attain mutually agreed upon goalsâ⬠(p. 457). This paper will describe four different leadership styles, and the effectiveness of each style as dependent upon the situation. Review of the Professional Nursing Literature All nurses are leaders but may not recognize the different types of leadership or traits of an effective leader (Sims, 2009). There are four leadership styles to consider, the first one is autocratic or authoritarian. The autocratic leader is someone who usually needs to dominate others. The autocratic approach is often one-sided and the leader is likely attempting to achieve a single goal or objective (Sims, 2009). Autocratic leadership is a behavior in which a leader makes choices with no involvement from any peers, regardless if those ideas are better suited for the organization. This type of leader requires constant pressure and direction to get the task done. This type of leader provides clear expectations for what, when, and how a process should be done without consulting employees. Organizations that have this type of leader tend to see a high turn-over of employees and absenteeism for the simple fact that employees donââ¬â¢t feel valued. This approach would not be the way to get the best performance from the team. The implementation of this style of leadership could be used in a situation where an immediate decision needs to be made such as a crisis in an emergency room. The second leadership style is democratic or participative. This style is one that encourages employees to be a part of the decision making process. This type of leader keeps employees informed about everything that affects the work being done, and shares in the problem solving situation. A drawback of this type of leader is that the leader could be viewed as not being able to make a decision; therefore, the employees may not respect this style and view this leader as not being a true leader. The democratic leader uses the team approach and is the coach in the process, but has the final say when the group comes to a consensus. Implementation of a democratic leadership style can best be executed in a situation where a process or practice change is needed, such as documentation on electronic medical records. With this leadership style the leader can get staff ideas and suggestions for a smooth transition to the change. This not only increases job satisfaction by involving team members, but it also helps to develop peopleââ¬â¢s skills. This method inspires a group effort, but it can take lots of time for the leader to develop and come to an end to the topic at hand (Sims, 2009). The leader may spend a lot of time in discussions, sending emails, or scheduling meetings. This leader may be happy to do this to see that staff are working together to achieve a better outcome, but it can also be a time-consuming process. A good democratic leader encourages staff participation, is supportive, but never loses sight that the leader is the one responsible for the final decision. This leader must accept that the outcome may turn out differently than originally planned. Transactional leadership is the third style, and is one where the leader focuses on the day to day tasks of the team, and makes sure that the work is completed. Transactional leadership is really a type of management, not a true leader style, because the focus is on short-term tasks. Transactional leaders set a goal, provide directions, and then reward the employee if performance is met at an acceptable level (McGuire Kennerly, 2006). Transactional leadership style can best be used when a state survey is taking place and if successful, then reward will be given to the employees. These leaders use this style to get the desired outcomes. Transactional leaders give tasks to be done by the employee, and if itââ¬â¢s done wrong then the employee is accountable. If the task is completed to this leaderââ¬â¢s standard, then the employee is rewarded. This type of leader doesnââ¬â¢t focus on the staffââ¬â¢s needs, or personal development, instead the staff must adhere to what the leader wants. Transactional leaders often work under the assumption that if everything is working fine, then there is no need to fix anything. Under this type of leader, there is no interest in change, and the employee will not feel any job satisfaction. The fourth leadership style is the transformational leader. This style of leadership is one thatââ¬â¢s very appropriate in many corporate situations because of the wide range of abilities and approaches that are drawn upon. This style focuses on the leader and the employee working together for a common goal. This type of leader has a vision for the organization, and inspires employees to solve problems creatively in a way that provides support and encouragement without diminishing the nursing role (Kleinman, 2004). Transformational leaders have several traits that inspire the employee to utilize the strengths to improve the team, have better staff satisfaction, and reduce stress (Weberg, 2010). Transformational leaders are coaches, or mentors; they show respect, have empathy, and utilize individual leader skills to promote change. These leaders are very energetic and passionate about the job, and concerned about all staff in succeeding. These leaders set good examples, clear goals, and recognizes good work from the team. Transformational leaders should remain a part of the team and share in the work load to better understand the teamââ¬â¢s viewpoint. With this leader style, there is a higher level of committed employees, reduced stress, and increased morale (Dunham Klafehn, 1990). This in turn creates an employee who will provide a positive outlook when change is taking place and increases employee job satisfaction. Application of Clinical Example A clinical example of when transformational leader style would work best is when an organization is going through a change process, such as the way report is given. Transformational leaders motivate staff to work towards a greater good and create a positive change (Dunham Klafehn, 1990). Many nurses donââ¬â¢t like change in the way care is provided, but when itââ¬â¢s important for patient safety change is inevitable.
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